Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
