I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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