Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
