you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
