I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
