i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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