In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
