I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize