lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
