did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
