Duck Duck Cougar?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
