I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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