you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
