I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
