In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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