Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
