So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
