oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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