therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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