Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
