I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize