my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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