If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
