I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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