Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize