i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
