What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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