someone get that fucking seahorse.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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