I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
