# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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