I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh god it's open bar.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
