I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
