belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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