Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
