:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
