What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So many bounce houses so little time
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
