A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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