i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
