I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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