Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
