try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize