Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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