Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
