You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
