yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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