ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
