I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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