I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
