i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
