dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
