There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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