I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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