love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
