I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
