He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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