i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
