handjob tips. give me some.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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