brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
