Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
