so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
her facebook's as public as her vagina
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you never un-have a 4some
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
