but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
