i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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